How much time do you and your partner spend talking about actual stuff a week? Eight hours? Three hours? Thirty minutes?
According to Dr. Gottman of the relationship research Gottman Institute, most couples only talk meaningfully for ~35 minutes a week. We’ve heard that number as low as 15 minutes a week when you cut out talking logistics (kids, schedule, food, trips, etc.)
That’s 5 minutes a day… or less.
Clearly, it’s critical for couples to connect on a deeper level. These fun but deep date night questions will help to improve your marriage.
date night questions to ask your spouse
Five minutes a day or less? That’s crazy! But is it true?
After learning this statistic, I started taking notes with Ryan. Frankly, it’s not far off: the majority of the time we’re together, we talk about work and our home renovation.
How can we break out of the mold and reconnect on a deeper level? Ryan and I share 50+ conversational date night questions to ask each other about life and love to bring back the connection.
Our date night questions for married couples are fun and deep, inspiring meaningful conversation. Plus, we tie in the relationship science we’ve learned along the way.
So, the next time you find yourselves talking about work, schedules, and chores a bit too much, make a concerted effort to go down this list of real-life, non-sappy, open-minded date night questions to ask your partner.
Each of the questions listed should inspire follow-up questions as well, so get creative.
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50+ Date NIght Questions
Fun Date Night Questions
These are funny questions that spark story telling and sharing about joyous moments in your life.
Deep Date Night Questions
These deep date night questions are all about your dreams and aspirations and getting to know each other more deeply
Before we begin with the fun date night questions, we have an important reminder.
Don’t Forget Follow-Up Questions
For deeper and more personalized conversation, each question should spark follow up questions.
If the date night question is “What’s something you’ve done that you once thought previously you’d never have the courage to do?”
You can follow up with “Have you done that again since? Was it easier the second time?”
Be creative and have fun with it. The questions can be related, as in the example above, or they can be funny and completely random.
If the date night question is “What was your favorite toy growing up?” you could reply with “if you had to be one Disney character from the 90’s, who would you be?”
Have fun with it and get lost in deep conversation!
Fun Date Night Questions
1. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen that you still can’t believe you saw in person?
2. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled?
3. If you lived 300 years ago, what job do you think you would have had?
4. Have you ever had an unwanted creature in your house?
5. What’s your favorite camping trip story?
6. What was your favorite childhood movie?
7. Have you ever had a pet that destroyed something of yours?
8. Where is the most unique restaurant that you’ve ever eaten?
9. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen at a wedding?
10. If you had no fears, what’s something that you would do right now?
11. What’s something on your bucket list that we can do this year?
If you don’t have a bucket list yet, it’s time to make one! Here are some Bucket List Ideas for Couples.
We recommend going using a pen and the our book, The Ultimate Bucket List Journal.
12. What was your favorite toy growing up?
13. What’s the craziest encounter you’ve ever had with a wild animal?
14. Why did your parents choose your name?
15. If you bought a new boat tomorrow, what would you name it?
16. What’s a favorite story that you love hearing about your parents or grandparents?
17. What was your favorite childhood book?
18. When did you find out about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter bunny? When would you want to tell your future kids?
Deep Date Night Questions
19. What’s an idea for a business that you’ve always dreamed of starting?
20. What’s the most awe-inspiring moment you’ve ever had in nature?
21. If you wrote a book, what story would you tell?
22. Where was the most incredible sunset or sunrise you’ve ever seen?
23. What do you consider your greatest athletic accomplishment?
24. What activity have you done that you thought you’d hate, but ended up loving?
25. What’s something that you’ve always wanted to build or create with your own two hands?
26. What was the most special, unexpected gift that you ever received?
We love gifting board games. A study out of Baylor University found that couples who played board games together released more oxytocin.
These are our favorite (and award-winning) board games for couples.
27. Do you have any reoccurring dreams?
28. What has been the biggest project you started but never finished?
29. If you could select anyone from history, who would you have over for dinner?
30. What’s a life lesson that your parents taught you that you appreciate now?
31. What are a few things in your life that turned out to be blessings in disguise?
32. Where do you want to live when we retire?
33. What legacy do you want to leave?
34. What’s something you want to achieve before you die?
35. What is something that you want to learn this year?
36. What attributes from your mother and father do you see in yourself?
37. What are the top five things you do weekly that you love the most?
38. What three things are you grateful for today?
There’s a lot of science behind practicing gratitude, and it’s a powerful tool for couples. One study conducted with pairs found that those who expressed gratitude for their relationship were happier and better communicators than those who did not.
We practice gratitude with this bedtime journal for two. We’ve been using it since 2017 and it’s the most valuable and entertaining way to celebrate your relationship before bed each night.
39. What was your favorite family tradition growing up?
40. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
41. As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
42. What was the first meal you ever cooked by yourself?
43. What has consistently been a compliment that you’ve received multiple times throughout your life?
44. What was the first book that you ever read by yourself?
45. Where have you volunteered before? And what volunteer work would you like to continue doing?
46. What’s the best life advice you’ve ever received?
47. Have you ever brought together two people who ended up getting married?
48. What annual tradition do you want to start together?
49. Are we on track to be a healthier version of ourselves in five years?
Did you know that there are physical, mental, and emotional benefits of working out with your spouse? It’s a trifecta that you don’t want to ignore.
Try our one of a kind Couple’s Yoga Flow routine.
50. What’s something that you can do, or invest in, to improve your marriage this year?
51. What differences and similarities do we have that you love about us?
52. What is something that you want to do together that we’ve never done before?
53. What’s the most unique thing about our relationship that others don’t have?
54. In your opinion, are we spending our money on the things we should be?
55. Are we on track to still be in love in 10, 15, 20 years?
A University of Rochester psychology professor, Dr. Ronald Rogge, found that some movies can cut your chances of divorce in half.
We share the science and the list of movies for couples. Now that you finished these date night questions it’s time to schedule a marriage therapy movie night!
CLosing thoughts on Date NIght Questions
For more date night questions, check out our “would you rather” questions for couples to keep the conversation flowing.
Or we have more resources for couples, such as the best two-player card games for couples or the best ideas to setup a memorable movie date night at home on our Healthy Couples page.
For creative at-home date night ideas check out our downloadable date night idea “Menu.” Just roll the dice and get ready for an epic and memorable date night in!
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- The best apps, books, and movies for couples
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- Questions for conversation and connection
- The At-Home Date Night "Menu"
Hey we're Ryan and Alex
The creators of Ryan and Alex Duo Life. We are a husband-wife duo and “lifestyle engineers.”
After eight years working in the corporate world as engineers, we left our high-powered jobs to tackle our true passion — helping couples engineer their best lives.
The synergy of our engineering minds and ten years of health coaching experience produced Ryan and Alex Duo Life. Our mission is to help you transform your bodies, minds, and relationship as a couple.
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