10 Tips After Ten Years of Working Out as a Couple

Working out together as a couple for 10 years has been an incredibly rewarding journey, one that has brought us closer both physically and emotionally.

Along the way, we’ve learned a lot—not just about fitness, but also about how it strengthens our relationship.

From pushing each other out of our comfort zones to creating healthier habits that ripple into other parts of life, here’s what we’ve discovered over the last decade of shared sweat and growth.

In this article, we’ll share our biggest and most honest takeaways from working out together, including the key things we needed to figure out first and how it’s changed over the past decade.

What We Learned After Working Out Together for a Decade

Working out as a couple doesn’t necessarily just fall together naturally. It takes planning, some mindset shifts, and potentially, some hardcore convincing.

But once it comes together, the benefits can be far wider-ranging than ever imagined for something so simple.

We know that you’re thinking, “Easier said than done!” There are many reasons why working out with your partner seems unfeasible, from disinterest to already having a set workout routine. Or, there could be other limitations like time and distance.

For a partner who just isn’t interested, make sure to check out lesson #3 below. But first, to convince you how important it is, we’ll start by sharing what we learned about the science behind working together.

Lesson 1: The Incredible Health Benefits, Backed By Science

As engineers, once we see the data, we can’t unsee it or forget it. After learning about the immense benefits of working out together as a couple, we needed little convincing after that.

Here are just a few of the many, many statistics we’ve researched about couples working out together:

According to the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing, when one partner starts exercising, the likelihood of the other partner picking it up increases by about three times compared to couples where no one changes their routine. And if you kick off a weight-loss journey? Your partner has more than double the chance of shedding some pounds, too.

And get this: when you’ve got a workout buddy by your side, your exercise intensity can improve by 50%.

Reading this research added an extra level of motivation to stay committed over the years to our couple’s workouts.

Lesson 2: It’s a Helpful Shove Outside of Your Comfort Zone

When you work out together, you’re bound to push each other outside your comfort zones. It’s easy to get stuck in the same routine of exercises you love, but that doesn’t always lead to transformation.

I mean, be honest. That barre workout is very fun but have you actually ever seen a transformation from it?

For Alex, she had run marathons for years yet never saw that “wow!” transformation she always secretly hoped for, despite being fit already. And she was starting to think it wasn’t really possible without a huge overhaul.

But when Ryan wanted to start a 40-minute a day weightlifting program together, everything changed. Alex found it pretty easy and enjoyable, and finally got the transformation she always wanted.

It’s honestly something she likely never would have done on her own. By exposing each other to different workout programs, you both grow in ways you didn’t expect and might just find something that changes everything.

Lesson 3. Someone Needs to Lead (and That’s OK)

No matter who is more “advanced” when it comes to fitness, someone needs to take the lead and be the motivator. And truth be told, that continues far past just the beginning stages.

If you’re in a position where you and your partners are at varying fitness levels, at the beginning, you might have to compromise on a good workout that is suitable for whoever is “behind.” Don’t think of it as taking a step back, but more getting in stride together.

After picking an initial workout program, you’ll know better each others levels and what workouts can be done well by both — perhaps with someone modifying or someone amplifying, but that’s often easy to do.

Throughout our 10 years of working out together, both of us have taken the lead at different moments. Not just with different activities (like yoga vs. HIIT) but just by pushing the other when someone is exhausted or just not feeling it.

So, be the leader, own it, and make it work. This goes along with the next lesson.

Lesson 4. Following a Calendar is Essential

Our biggest insider tip is that you need to be following a workout program calendar. Ideally printed.

This is our top tip regardless if you’re working out alone or when someone else, but it’s even more important when there are two of you following it. It’s immeasurably helpful, trust us, and it’s how we even worked out “together’ when we were dating long distance.

The truth is, it’s nearly impossible for both of you to follow the calendar perfectly every single day. One day you might have a business meeting, and the next day, your partner has the flu. You can’t always be waiting around for your partner to join you, because we know like everybody else that it’s so easy to miss a workout (even when there’s no reason at all.)

So to keep the momentum going, if Ryan can do the workout, he’ll just go ahead and do it. For example, let’s say he completes Day 6 and continues on. And when Alex is ready to join on Day 8, but missed the last two workouts, it doesn’t matter. Have both people work out together from Day 8 and move forward from there.

Simply picking up where the other person left off has kept us consistent even when life gets busy. Consistency is more important here than worrying about the workouts one person missed.

Lesson 5. Habits Are Contagious

One of the biggest lessons we learned is that even small habits influence the other person. And when one person is asking when you’re working out together, or stretching during a TV show instead of sitting, it rubs off on the other.

This is another well-studied topic, but the crux is that, even hours after your workout together, both you and your partner will still be making healthier eating choices and staying active.

We saw this together a lot, and if by unspoken agreement, we began walking more to the grocery store and taking our heavy restaurant brunches outside more for a bike and a picnic.

Lesson 6. Quality Time That Strengthens the Relationship

For us, working out together became an unexpected form of quality time. When life got busy, especially with work travel and family commitments, finding time to exercise together gave us an opportunity to connect. Given that both of our Love Languages were quality time, this meant even more to us.

Science backs this up too, with couples frequently reporting a closer connection, relationship satisfaction, and attraction after working out together. And that release in endorphins only helps.

Lesson 7. A Shared Goal Boosts Motivation

Setting a shared goal is always a good idea. Whether it’s training for a marathon or a hiking or ski trip, it brings purpose to the workouts. Plus, after finishing your amazing goal together, the sense of accomplishment and love for your partner is the best feeling.

For us, we slowly built up our goals from scheduled hikes to obstacle course races to eventually finishing a marathon together. The camaraderie and reward are exceptional and open the door to so many more exciting things to do together in the future.

Lesson 8. Convenience is Key—Work Out at Home

Logistically, here’s something basic that we learned pretty quickly: keep the workouts as convenient as possible. For us, that’s always to work out from home. Before it meant a quick workout before the workday, and these days, it means trying to squeeze it in during our kids’ naptimes.

It also saves money and just makes life a bit easier. Of course, do what’s best for you, and this could change throughout different stages of life too. But for us, our mainstay has always been a home gym.

Lesson 9: Know Your Fitness Phases Will Change

Over the past ten years, we haven’t only worked out together exclusively. Life changes, and you’ll change too.

When Ryan’s back flares up, he drops everything to do yoga. And during our second pregnancy, the doctor ordered Alex not to exercise at all for six months.

You and your partner will go through different phases of prioritizing different workouts and activities. For us, it’s become so engrained and enjoyable to work out together, that we do our best to complete at least a few programs together every year.

That way, we can still get all of the lovey-dovey relationship benefits of working out together, maintaining our consistency, and being active role models to our kids.

Lesson 10: You’re More Likely To Work Out, Not just Today but Months Down the line

Of course, having an accountability partner who lives with you in your house has a good chance of getting you to work out.

But the amazing thing is that it’s more than just that.

The same study mentioned above, the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing also shows that couples who work out together are more than three times as likely to stick with their fitness routine long-term, months later.

Conclusions

We hope that putting together our thoughts, takeaways, and tips from working out together over the past ten years will help you on your own path to working out as a couple.

Bottom line: It’s fun. All of the science and the tips we share don’t come close to how fun and often funny it is to work out together. In every sense, it is quality time together, and brings up new ideas and unlocks potential trips that we can do as a family, knowing that we’re staying fit and healthy together.

Now, we never need to second guess booking a ski trip or a backcountry camping trip where we’d have to carry the kids.

Good luck on your journey, and here’s to another ten years in the making!

For some fun and effective partner workout ideas, check out our partner core exercises, the one and only couples pregnancy workout routine, or download our cheatsheet with the best couples yoga poses to practice together.

For all of our helpful resources for couples who want to engineer their healthiest, happiest life together, head over to our Relationship page.

Written by Alex Davis
CEO and Co-Founder at Ryan and Alex Duo Life